I think one of life's greatest challenges has to be living with people. Having at least one room mate can make all the difference in how you get along with people. Obviously no one is perfect, especially not when it comes to lifestyle, no two people are alike. However it takes two to tango and both parties need to be able to work together to sort things out. All kinds of feelings fester when left alone and are not acknowledged. Kind of like the night you wanted to spend in studying and they threw a party and blared music until 4am. Or the time your phone charger went missing.
The best thing to do is iron out the kinks right from the get go. At least that's the advice I've been given, however for any twenteen's who are in the same room mate boat, it's easier said then done. The room mate cycle as I like to call it has been proven time and time again during the 3 years I have attended school. It starts out with everyone on their best behavior; dishes being washed promptly, garbage being taken out consistently, no loud parties during the week. Then around the third month in things start to creep up on you. That nagging question of where your food is disappearing to or the I swear I left a beer in the fridge. Of course neither party will come forward to address the issues and so begins the deterioration of the fragile semi friendship you had going. The fourth month in its almost too much to take. Seriously cooking food at 2am, why is that necessary, plants being thrown off the balcony and a feeling of inconsideration and disrespect takes hold. Any sort of peaceful resolution has now faded and is replaced with resentment. Following this a confrontation, or at least an attempt at sharing your feelings. However no one is willing to take responsibility for their actions. The next few months simmer with resentment and sparse tolerance of each others behavior. Whether or not you knew them or not before, living with people can make or break your relationship and problem solving skills. It's much easier to let things slide and pay the consequences later. Compose yourself, down that bottle of Bob Marley's mellow mood and face the innocent face of your room mate who has not a clue of their inconsiderate actions. Sometimes you just have to grin and bare it. Pick your battles, it is really worth getting upset about those dirty dishes or can I save my argument for something more justifiable. Living with a person is only half the battle, getting a long with them for the remainder of the time is the other half. Showing each other respect goes a long way and really clearing the air before throwing a party makes the difference. However hoping that subtle hints will let them know how your feeling is not. Sometimes people are unprepared going into a room mate situations. Prepare yourself by committing to a room mate agreement, being honest about your life style and agreeing to discuss things that are bothering you. That puts less pressure on the both of you of feeling attacked by each other. Wording is also key in handling situations, if you can word something in a way that doesn't put the other on the defensive you will go a lot further when trying to explain your point. Perhaps even asking what you can do better. Another discussion for another day. Meg
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MeganMulti-media journalist with an unstoppable curiosity. Archives
May 2017
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